By becoming a Nilbog Goblin, I swear by the Lord of the Magic Stonehenge, that I will never consume meat or reveal my mole the shape of a clover leaf. According to my ability and judgment, I will always warn others against the evils of eating stinkin', disgustin' meat (i.e, hamburgers, steaks, and hot dogs sold by the side of the road). Most importantly, I will stand tall and proud as a monstrous being.

Further, I understand that by joining Nilbog, I must always treat other goblins in disguise with love and respect. Before turning a house-swapping visitor into edible plant mush, it is my responsibility to offer them something green to eat (this keeps the blood from mixing with the meat); preferably, a glass of Nilbog Milk, a Nilbog cake or an English muffin frosted with special green icing. After all, we are hospitable people here in Nilbog! Should I, at anytime, find it desirable to seduce another or engage in erotic activity, I swear to put into practice the secret, seductive powers found only in a cob of corn.

I make this sacred oath with the complete understanding that it is my duty to show the world that Goblins still exist. While I continue to keep this oath unviolated, may it be granted to me to enjoy goblin life, the practice of turning humans into vegetables and spreading the Troll 2 infection at all times! But should I trespass and violate this Oath, may I will be forced to eat a double-decker-bologna sandwich full of toxins and Cholesterol.